Maybe the Problem’s Not Them

Posted: 19th June 2007 by Barb in Blame, Change, Choices, Uncategorized

“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”
—J. Michael Straczynski

Anytime we find ourselves having to learn a lesson again and again it may be time to stop blaming people and events outside of ourselves.

If we’ve failed at numerous relationships and the same problems crop up in each, we are attracting something to ourselves that doesn’t work for us. If we don’t change, the same problems will continue to come our way.

And if our problems involve work or business and we keep having the same issues that cause us unnecessary stress and agony, who needs to change? We have some reason to keep getting in these situations or not getting out of them soon enough.

We can stay stuck in our ruts of destruction that end with self-pity and loss of enthusiasm or we can look inside ourselves and learn why we keep getting into the same situations again and again. Only we can break our own cycle of destructiveness.

The first thing we have to do is admit that it is our problem and that we are the only person who can get us out of it. Blaming the boss, parents, exes, current spouses, or anyone else is not going to get us moving and out of the situation. Once we can admit that we have to do something, we can then take action and get unstuck and hopefully not have to keep repeating the lesson because we can’t seem to get it.

Look inside to find the problem and the strength to overcome it.

  1. Aravis says:

    Yes. For me that includes taking a deep breath, and then just doing whatever it is that scares me without thinking about it too much further; I psych myself out otherwise. But if I can do this, I can move past the problem and handle it better the next time. If I give in to the fear, it’s worse next time. :0(