Posted: 17th September 2007 by Barb in Forgiveness, Relationships, Uncategorized

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”
—Lily Tomlin

If we desire to rid our lives of resentment, regret, and bitterness, we probably need to work on forgiveness.

Forgiving others and ourselves is a way to move past those things that are blocking our growth and happiness. When we have a resentment because of something that was done to us, or when we regret something we have done, we are continuing to live in the past. And since we cannot change the past we must try another option.

Forgiveness is letting go. It’s not necessarily forgetting something lest we have to go through the same situation again, but it also means we move on with the knowledge that what is done is done and we cannot change it. Holding onto whatever it is won’t make it go away. Letting go of it will.

Sometimes we won’t forgive someone because we are not ready to move on. We hold onto the pain at times because it’s familiar or it’s all we have left of a person or situation. Additionally, hanging onto resentment from the past keeps us in the victim status of life. As long as we don’t forgive and move on from a painful situation we remain the victim. We can be stronger than that. We can move out of the misery that victim status holds by forgiving.

And while forgiveness means giving up hope for a better past, it also offers us a better future than we would have if we hung onto a hurtful issue. We must look within and find out why we are unwilling to forgive ourselves or someone else. It may be that we think forgiveness lets someone off the hook for having done us wrong, but it doesn’t. And hanging onto our pain doesn’t teach them a lesson either. Not forgiving ourselves keeps us living in guilt.

Forgiveness removes the roadblock to the future.