Black and White Thinking

Posted: 1st February 2008 by Barb in Communication, Perspective, Relationships

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
—William Shakespeare

Situations in life are affected by our personal experiences. What appears one way to one person does not always appear the same to the next, because events in our lives have not been the same.

What we bring to each situation is unique to us because the whole of our lives comes along with that. Our spiritual journeys, our relationships, family of origin issues, these all play into who we are as adults. No two people have the same exact experiences although we all share in some.

This can make relationships difficult. No matter how good we are at communication that too is affected on both sides of a relationship based upon what each brings to the table.

Things are rarely black and white, good or bad. They just are what they are. And there are shades of gray in them as well. We, as humans, fail. We do things we regret and we hurt other people, sometimes based upon what they think about the situation more so than what we did.

We need to listen to what another has to say. We need to really hear what they are saying and not hear it from just our point of view. We need to try our best to discern their communication without letting our experiences or old hurts alter what they said.

Mostly we need to remember that things are not always as we perceive them. And that the situation has more involved than our experiences and thoughts. We can give others the right to think and feel as they will based upon where they are on their journey. 

There is often no right or wrong, but something in between.

  1. Aravis says:

    You’re right, of course. It can be hard to listen to other people’s viewpoints when you don’t agree. But I know I at least learn something from doing so, even if my opinions don’t change.

    There’s more than just shades of gray… there’s all of the colors of the rainbow, and the colors of those combined. :0)