Blame Will Get Us Nowhere but Stuck

Posted: 13th November 2006 by Barb in Blame, Healing, Uncategorized

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”
—Dr. Robert Anthony

Every one of us can find things in our lives that aren’t quite how we want them to be and we can always find someone to blame. We can blame our parents, siblings, boss, friends, lovers, the government, and anyone else around that we can push off our problems on.

A popular saying, and one that’s also the title of a book is, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” It’s always something; life is full of problems and solutions. And while blaming others takes a load off of us temporarily it also keeps us stuck in the problem and not looking for a solution.

Recognizing the origin of our issues and problems is a good start at healing. We can resolve some of our issues by accepting that things were done to us that were not always in our best interest or healthy for us. Sometimes we find that we blame ourselves for something someone else did.

For instance, we may have never felt loved by a parent and turned that blame around on us, only to figure out that we could not have caused them not to love us. That was their issue; ours is to move on and love ourselves. This blame of ourselves for things that we didn’t do is not healthy either.

We can move past blaming ourselves and others when we are ready to face our issues. This is when we can change and grow past blaming and into freedom and healing. We take responsibility for what we do, right or wrong or somewhere in between, but we move past blame into solutions.

Blame only keeps us stuck in the problem.

  1. Kamrin says:

    I wish more folks would adopt this phrase. I am so tired of hearing folks blame everyone else for their problems! My sh*t is my own doing and I gotta fix it. I am not going to lay my pile on someone else. Thanks again for your words of wisdom to help me feel all profound and centered.

  2. Aravis says:

    Agreed. Ultimately it doesn’t matter who or what got you into a position; it’s what you do with it that matters. If I stub my toe on that darn bookcase one more time, is it the bookcase’s fault that it sticks out a little, or mine for not pushing it further back against the wall? And yet I continue to curse the bookcase. *G*