Pleasing Others

Posted: 24th August 2008 by Barb in Doing Right, Expectations, Perspective, Self-image

“It’s none of my business what you think of me.”

Some of us worry about what others think and try to please them with our actions.

We can’t please everybody, no matter what we do. There will always be those who think we should do things a certain way even when we have been successful in the way we did them.

A lot of us still try to please our parents even as adults we may still use what they think as a barometer of how we should carry on our lives. Some of us do this knowing that they are dysfunctional and probably won’t ever “approve” of what we do but we try to please them anyway. It’s quite futile to think we can get anywhere this way.

Often those who begin Twelve Step programs or go to treatment find family members, spouses, and others less than thrilled. This is usually attributed to fear of change. Those left behind know that life as they knew it won’t be the same anymore, even though the person is going to have a better life.  If we are taking care of ourselves in a healthy way, we must forge on and try not to worry about what they think.

What matters most is what we think of ourselves. Are we working on being better people? Do we try to do the right thing even when it’s difficult? Are we free of addictions and other things that are not healthy for us? If we feel good about where we are today and where we may be in the future, that’s a positive that we can hang our hat on. The rest, what they think, well, it’s really not our business.

If you believe in yourself you’re already a winner.

  1. Loving Annie says:

    Your last paragraph said it all.