I’ve written about forgiveness before on this blog; and in my book, but I feel the need to revisit this topic today.
I had a conversation with someone recently about something that happened some time ago and felt much admiration that she could forgive the person who had done something so bad. I harbor ill feelings for people who do silly, meaningless things to me sometimes, and have trouble letting go, yet she was able to forgive and move on from something I believe many people would never be able to forgive.
When we forgive, we don’t say that what the other person did was okay. We forgive so that we can heal and let go of the hatred that tears us up from the inside. We cannot be happy if we carry around miserable feelings for others. And our feelings towards them don’t hurt them, they damage us.
I was in a rotten situation for about six years. It damaged my self-esteem, work ethic, confidence, personal life, social life; it hurt me in dozens of ways. I was angry and I carried that with me all the time. I wanted to strike back in some way out of my anger.
I was hated by someone for being who I was created to be. When a “man of God,” who believes God made everything, hates another human being who was supposedly created by this God, what does that say about him?
I’m free of that situation now and it’s time to move on, let go, forgive. My forgiveness will allow me to live fully again, to regain my sense of self and be proud of who I am. I’m not going to strike back, it would just bring back a lot of the anger that I have already released. If there is a heaven which he believes in, I believe that the Creator won’t have good things to say about how he treated me. I’ll never know and I’m okay with that.
I’m letting him go and I’m getting me back. I’m damaged, not by the reasons he hates me, but by his treatment of me. I can overcome that hatred. I’ve already begun. And my healing has begun.
If you’ve read much of what I have written you know that I don’t like to be a victim. We can only be victims when we allow what is done to us to affect us without fighting like hell to let it go and rid it from our lives. In my particular situation I tried to get out and opportunities didn’t allow for it for several years. But now I’m free.
The chat with a friend who could forgive such a big thing that happened in her life gives me hope that I can forgive someone who caused me so much unhappiness.